Never Ending Circles

Those Groundhog Days

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you feel that you are going around in circles, experiencing the same things, the same dates, relationships, and jobs. Where the same problems arise time and time again. You feel stuck and wake up every morning with a feeling in the pit of your stomach as you can see another Groundhog Day manifesting. Times like these can feel frightening and bewildering especially if you don't understand why you are feeling this way. You know that if you just knew what to do, what action to take you would do it, you just don't know what that is. You may ask the questions our aloud but the answer evades you. Lethargy consumes you and you feel disappointed and frustrated at what life has become. On the outside you may present a happy front and pretend everything is okay but inside you have this gnawing edge that you should be doing something else. If so I want you to know I see you, I understand, I hear you and there are no judgements here.

A change that's needed

Life can be tricky, human life can be hard and at times difficult to navigate. You may not always have the right people around you to support you or the well meaning words of others may not help you in the way that you need, but trust me when I say there is always a way forwards.

When I find myself in a never ending circle, I ask myself, 3 questions

Can I self soothe?

Do I need to speak to a trusted friend or family member?

Do I need to speak to a professional?

For most of time I can self soothe, but there have been times when I've accessed help from a professional to help me navigate some of the most difficult of moments. To help me break out of the circular patterns and support me to look at things objectively. This was something I did in 2006. I was desperate for change, to do something completely different. It helped me to navigate my way through a big decision, to sell my home, leave my job and travel to the five continents. Obviously breaking out of an unhelpful cycle doesn't have to be something so drastic, sometimes it can be just as simple as taking a step back, embracing self care, a walk in nature to clear your mind and look at things objectively. You can use a process of self enquiry, gathering information about how you are feeling and taking decisions from there. There is a saying we always have the the answers, and we do, it's just that sometimes we need some help to get there or to spend some time journeying inwards to understand what we are experiencing. That is why I wrote online courses to enable people to connect to themselves and journey inwards, to gather information so they can move forwards.

We can either love or hate change, even when we desperately want that change we can still be triggered by the fear factor and cling on to what is no longer helping us. It's important that we recognise that and break down the steps we take to make that change to find the change process more manageable. One small change can change everything.

In my own journey there was a time I felt that change was a threat, wrongly believing it would take me away from all that I wanted. Change that I had not instigated myself meant that I had a lack of control and I had a very rigid idea of how life was meant to be.  I always perceived myself as quite open -minded but when I look back and reflect I wasn’t really, I was stuck in a rut and I actually felt comfortable in my rut.  To do anything out of the ordinary even though my heart had a strong desire to do so,meant that I would be standing out from the crowd, rocking the boat and it would have taken me away from my family and friends. Now I'm the opposite and want change but those fears creep in and sabotage without me noticing. I'm a little wiser now and more aware but I don't always recognise those sneaky fears straight away.

A helping hand

Change can be like a breath of fresh air. Even the change that is unwanted. Unwanted change can help us to re-evaluate our lives and make us want to do things differently. The learnings we take away from change can only make our lives richer and we become wiser. In time we may witness others in their own never ending circle struggling to break free, but with our wisdom and lessons under our belts, we can hold out our hands and help them on their way.